The entry of the ring-bearer is one of the most exciting points in the wedding, and also the most special. Usually the bride and groom choose (and rightly so) loved ones from the family to do the role: cousins, nephews, grandparents or siblings.
My first choice was to invite our two grandparents to enter together with the rings, but both had difficulty walking and preferred not to risk it. My second and only other option was my sister. But before continuing to read the story, press play and listen to the music chosen for this moment.
I said “second and only other option” because there was no third option. But believe me, I almost had to have one! My sister is very shy and doesn’t like being the centre of attention, but from the beginning I wanted a special song for the entrance of the ring-bearer in the middle of the ceremony. My sister said she would go with the other ladies in the beginning, before me, but would not go alone after, as I wanted.
I was devastated, and I started to think she wasn’t willing to help me make my dream come true, with all the minute details that I had imagined. We discussed it, cried and after a brief misunderstanding I understood how difficult it was that I was asking her. She would face her fear, it would be traumatic, and I didn’t really know if it was fair for me to demand it.
On the other hand, my father understood the importance I gave to having my dear sister and best friend entering with the rings that would change my life forever. He talked to her and asked her to try to tackle it for both me and for her. To my surprise she said she would try. We rehearsed her entrance that day at my parents’ house. Through tears and smiles we hugged and cried. I certainly remembered this moment when she was actually walking towards the altar.
To see my sister entering the aisle on that September 1 was proof of her love. Every time I think back to the difficulties she was experiencing, and all for my sake! She cried the whole time, and my heart could not stand it. Our eyes met and we were united with the same feeling and emotion. When we embraced only we knew what was really happening. It was a mixture of love, companionship, friendship, joy and emotion that gripped us. And it certainly brought us together even more.
Since Sunday is the day of friendships, here is my homage to my best friend. Carolzita, thank you for being my lovely ring-bearer! ♥
Regardless of who you choose to be yours, choose from the heart. This moment, without doubt, will stay forever in the memory of the bride and groom but also in the heart of the ring-bearer, too.
My sister read this post, loved it, and asked if she could share her own experience in her own words. Take a look at her beautiful thoughts!
“Hello readers of Love and Berries, it is with great pleasure that I write my experience as ring-bearer. So, at first I didn’t accept the idea very well, because I though it very strange that I’d be a ring-bearer and I was a lady, and not a child. Moreover, I struggled to understand the real meaning the ring-bearer’s role. In the end I felt the most honoured person in this world and I felt bad about myself for being so tough. I was always too shy with things involving a large number of people, and always identified myself with things behind the scenes, such as I attended almost all the wedding details. When I first heard the idea I put the condition that all the ladies entered together, but my sister cried and said that was not the way she wanted, because she had thought about having a little plate for each lady, and she wanted me to enter alone in the middle of the ceremony. We also had a very positive intervention from our father, who talked with me about her motives and to her about my reasons for not being misinterpreted by my hesitancy. I tried to make it clear that I would do anything for her, but what she asked me was something very personal. I wished I could but I was afraid to ruin everything, such as by entering too fast, trembling too much or even dropping the rings. Another resistance factor was the fact that from the beginning I thought of my bridesmaid dress, researching how I wanted it, and it bothered me the idea of being dressed in an outfit the same as the four other girls. I dreamed of entering accompanied by my boyfriend and a couple of groomsmen. But over time I realized how small my thoughts were and how I was being selfish with someone who is my best friend, second mother, and in truth, older sister. With time I also realised that for love you can do crazy things and face all your fears. I completely accepted the idea and thought no more about the rest, just her. It was her who chose the dress and said it would be her way. I opened up my stubborn ways and submitted myself to her dream, which became mine too. In the end I can say to all adult ring-bearers that are hesitant: it is worth it! It’s worth it and I would do it again for my super sister. I think I went too fast, but I tried my best, and I’ll never forget the look of gratitude and sincerity beyond words both her and Henrique gave to me. I seemed to dance on the altar I was trembling so much, but I hid it well according to many. But to conclude, my feeling is that it was Mission Accomplished and I would never have forgiven myself for not having done it for her. Good luck to all the brides in choosing their bridesmaids and ring-bearers, and good luck to all those who have the honor of carrying the greatest symbol of love, the rings. “
Music Better – Brooke Fraser